This is the first time ever I have made a visual representation of the physical abuse I endured for the 5 years I was married to a violent man. I was only 19 years old when I met him. He was my first love and the relationship left many scars and wounds (and PTSD). It has taken me 30 years to be able to create a ‘portrait’ of his violent behavior, I usually depict images of my own emotions and reactions (fear. anxiety and rage). I have very clear memories of his physical abuse: his swinging arms, the slow and steady walk in my direction, before he would wrestle me to the floor – and his multiple faces: the man I love, the man I feared and the man I lost every time he turned evil. The focus in my art has opened up, from the focus of my fear and rage – to exploring the sick behavior of the abuser. Also giving him a face, like a mailbox, a place to return the responsibility, the shame and darkness to its rightful owner.
“Hitman” is dedicated to all victims and survivors of domestic abuse. ♥
Videos and photos from my MONSTER TEAM art show with Maria Wingård on culture night in Norrköping, Sweden, September 29th 2018 (Norrköpings kulturnatt).