NEW! “Hitman”

This is the first time ever I have made a visual representation of the physical abuse I endured for the 5 years I was married to a violent man. I was only 19 years old when I met him. He was my first love and the relationship left many scars and wounds (and PTSD). It has taken me 30 years to be able to create a ‘portrait’ of his violent behavior, I usually depict images of my own emotions and reactions (fear. anxiety and rage). I have very clear memories of his physical abuse: his swinging arms, the slow and steady walk in my direction, before he would wrestle me to the floor – and his multiple faces: the man I love, the man I feared and the man I lost every time he turned evil. The focus in my art has opened up, from the focus of my fear and rage – to exploring the sick behavior of the abuser. Also giving him a face, like a mailbox, a place to return the responsibility, the shame and darkness to its rightful owner.
“Hitman” is dedicated to all victims and survivors of domestic abuse.  ♥

The bald and the beautiful

What a strange night. The church bells kept ringing for an hour. In the morning, I woke up to rain and feeling slightly off. But I’m working again, painting on ‘The Wound’. and coming up with new ideas for more paintings. It’s funny, every time I add hair to my characters, it ruins the whole expression. I can’t do hair for some reason. I ended yesterday’s work with making the character bald and I felt better about it.

Some of my baldies:

And characters with hair:

I’ve been losing a lot of hair this year, due to stress, and it is one of my biggest nightmares to become bald and completely hairless. I love my hair, it makes me feel feminine and beautiful. A lot of my sexuality is in my hair, I don’t know how to explain it.

Perhaps the core expressions – embodied in my demons, have to be as bald as they are bold because they are not about gender, identity or beauty. They are human, deeply intimate – channeling our inner child and spirit and who we are at the core. Something that is real and raw and connects us all. Hair is a superficial part of the human body – I go deeper than that. My demons even lack skin. So to put a fancy hairdo on top of their heads is like decorating a Christmas tree, it takes away from what they want to say. What I want to say. What the core has to say.