As I have been dealing with some traumatic events this year WHILST being completely isolated and alone in my apartment for the last 4,5 months, I have been forced to do some hard-core soul-searching. As a result, I have made some truly deep and profound (and life-changing) discoveries about who I am. Or more importantly – of who I wish to become. Ever since I was a little girl, my biggest dream was to become an artist and I worked hard to make my dream come true. But when I became an artist, the dream of BECOMING, totally died. The dream has now been boiled down to selling artworks – in order for my bills to get paid. That’s what the big dream was all about? And to be honest – what does it even mean to be an artist, once this Pandemic will end? An artist is one of the lowest ranked non-essential professions. Some people might even say it’s just a make-believe job, a sign of ego centrism, or that it’s “just a hobby”. As an artist, I know this is not true. History wouldn’t look like history without artists. Science without artists would be hard to grasp. Cities without artists would be dull. Without artists, people’s imagination would dry out and there would be no social or cultural progress. Life would be awfully boring. No movies, no images, no museums, no aesthetics, no fashion – no dreams or visions.
And here is where my life-changing discoveries come in – alongside the dreams and the visions. I AM an artist – but that’s not all I want to be. I am so much more – and there is so much more I wish to become, within this lifetime. I don’t want to make art just so I can pay my bills! Hell, no – I want to use my art to achieve something far more substantial. I want to create art with a purpose. I want to be an artist with a mission!
I will try to make a video about this tomorrow, so I can explain more. ❤️
Photo: me in front of a Cindy Sherman (Stockholm, 2010).
