Thoughts around noon


Right now. A messy view but the place where I belong.

It’s noon. I am still sleepy, I didn’t sleep well – I am haunted by nightmares again. The things I try to not think about during the days pop up in my dreams at night. The brain is fascinating, because it takes care of your unwanted feelings and thoughts and try to process it anyway. But the problem is that I have an excellent “dream memory” – I remember most dreams, very vividly and I can revisit places my mind makes up, over and over again because my dreams are so detailed.  Places that doesn’t exist in real life, but for some reason are real in my dreams.

I’ve been thinking about my imagination – and how flexible my mind is. Almost acrobatic in its way of bending inwards for endless deep and meaningful monologues or building its own worlds with the help of my imagination – and outwards in the way I feel so connected with the world and some people, I am without a doubt an empath. My mind can do almost anything I want it to do – go to dark places, go to bizarre and strange places, to complex and mysterious places, or to be raw and real in the approach to things.

The only way it can’t bend is to be logical and strategic when it comes to power. Which is, of course, necessary in real life, which creates problems for me sometimes. Especially when there are gaps in logic or reason, when I don’t understand why people act or do the things they do. My mind tries to bend itself inside out for an answer, but fails every time.

I am also very uncomfortable around people who can’t seem to connect to their minds at all – people with a brain that can’t bend in any direction but stays in a stiff position because of their disconnect.

I am proud of my athletic mind. It will take me anywhere I want to go in life.