I feel a little guilty because I didn’t produce more than one art piece this year – like I have let down my original audience (like you) – but this year I have been putting my entire heart and soul into my Swedish podcast project ( Epilogen Podcast ) which deals with serious topics like trauma, malignant narcissism and psychological abuse – but mixed with a little humor, warmth and a lot of surrealism (just like in my art). I have also been producing episodes where other survivors share their experience and knowledge, always illustrating the stories with sound effects and mood-enhancing music. I have been writing scripts, editing episodes, I have been acting and directing (I even played an octopus in an episode about “dissociation” to illustrate the mind/body disconnect). The podcast has opened up my creativity on a whole other level and is definitely making me a better artist, writer and storyteller. Creating the 22 episodes of 2021 has been an amazing journey and resulted in some new, beautiful friendships along the way.
I started the podcast in October 2020 because a therapist told me: “you don’t need therapy anymore – you need to CREATE and EXPRESS in order to heal your traumas – go make!” And boy, have I healed since then!
However, I do feel like I’ve neglected my visual art a bit and I am sure you are wondering where all the new pieces are! Please know that I have like 20 WORKS IN PROGRESS (paintings, collages, drawings), so once I have a little more time, I will finish them all up and put them up for sale! I just wish I had more time (and energy). Time to paint. Time to play around in Photoshop. Time to plan new art shows. Time to connect with you guys! Thank you for being so patient, supportive and understanding!
Much love to you all – and I truly hope you will have a wonderful new year with lots of joy, healing, creativity and growth!
For the past few years, I have managed to ‘cleanse’ out all negative energies from my life. It used to be so much chaos, drama and abuse – but I got rid of it. All of it. My life is now calm and for the first time, I feel relaxed in it.
When I was in my thirties, I made the decision of not having any children and that I would dedicate my life to focus on my creative projects. It was the best decision I have ever made for myself, because in this ‘free’ space of time and stillness – I could actually heal from my past traumas and focus on my creativity (the only thing that truly brings me joy in this life).
So, in this ‘clean’ space and time to focus solely on creative projects, I found a meaningful mission; to be an active advocate for survivors of psychological abuse. This mission will be the essence and the heart of every project I’ll ever make. The devastating effects of psychological abuse need to be exposed. It needs to be understood.
The surrealism you see in my art, contains elements of PTSD; confusion, internal chaos, the distorted reality after being gaslit, manipulated and controlled. All the screams you see in my art, are mine. All the melting faces you see in my demon portraits, are actual psychological demons (memories) melting away from my mind. The darkness never belonged to me anyway, it was forced upon me. My art is my story. My journal. Look closely at it and you will know what has happened to me. In detail.
And speaking of stories; I have reached a new level of peace of mind, which has allowed my creativity to expand and grow in unexpected directions. Now, I will focus on my childhood dream of becoming a writer. So, if you see a little less art coming from me, you’ll know that I am just busy writing – but don’t worry, I will never stop producing visual art! I have so many words, scenes, characters, stories and moods swirling around inside my mind right now – and I need to capture all of it! It feels incredibly exciting! This is new territory for me and I love it! Whenever you feel ‘safe’ and ‘comfortable’ in your creative expression; please take a break and explore new techniques, new themes, a new palette or a different focus.
So, I am currently working on one novel (based on my experience of ‘ambient abuse’) and collecting fragments for another – WHILST writing scripts for my podcast! So if you think I am ‘inactive’ just because I don’t post as much art as I used to – I am just deep into a whole new area of my imagination, expression and creative flow!
Much love to you all, thank you for your patience and support! ♥
As a digital collage artist, I can work on a piece for months (on-and-off), sometimes almost a year. When I was still creating paper collages, I was limited to the physical properties of the cut-outs – but Photoshop liberates me in my creative flow (I can enlarge, crop, distort, edit, copy, invert the cut-outs etc) and I love it! And no, digital art is NOT made by computers! And no, when digital art is printed, the prints are not ‘posters’ but original prints in a limited edition (signed and numbered)!
The first above is the finished version of “Rebel City” (2020) and the two below are earlier drafts.
I am happy to announce that I will have a few pieces included in the very first group show at Broken Arrowz Gallery in Brighton, UK! The gallery and the show opens on Friday (April 16th)! I will post more info as soon as I have some more news and updates about the show!
This is a new version of an older piece from 2017 called “Dead Lolitas”. Sometimes I feel like I need to finish an old thought or vision that wasn’t fully developed at the time. See the older version below.
Some of personal highlights from the worst year ever:
1. My art was exhibited next to legendary artist H.R. Giger at a lovely group show at Merry Art Gallery in Japan.
2. Launched darksurrealists.net – but the project was interrupted by Covid.
3. Started painting again (after almost 10 years).
4. Started writing a novel based on my experiences of ambient abuse (subtle psychological abuse)
5. Created Epilogen Podcast – a Swedish documentary podcast about #narcissisticabuse
6. Learned how to set healthy boundaries (finally!) and started loving myself.
7. Was hired to be a mentor for an amazing art student.
8. Found a new purpose in life – to be a spokesperson for #psychologicalabuse through my art, writing, podcast etc.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2021 be a much better year for us all! ♥
Artist Mia Makila participates in the “Hail Satan?” panel discussion at Monsters Of Film Festival, Stockholm, Sweden, October 2019 – alongside Per Faxneld, Anders Lundgren and the team behind the “Hail Satan?” documentary; Penny Lane and Gabriel Sedgwick.
This one was so much fun to make. In a way it is a self-portrait of how I use to be (a puppet girl for others to manipulate). I have outgrown the chains and nails and I no longer allow anyone to make me feel like a puppet.
Today I had my very first feedback meeting for the very first chapter of my very first novel (about psychological abuse). This is such an important project to me and I feel super inspired!
As I have been dealing with some traumatic events this year WHILST being completely isolated and alone in my apartment for the last 4,5 months, I have been forced to do some hard-core soul-searching. As a result, I have made some truly deep and profound (and life-changing) discoveries about who I am. Or more importantly – of who I wish to become. Ever since I was a little girl, my biggest dream was to become an artist and I worked hard to make my dream come true. But when I became an artist, the dream of BECOMING, totally died. The dream has now been boiled down to selling artworks – in order for my bills to get paid. That’s what the big dream was all about? And to be honest – what does it even mean to be an artist, once this Pandemic will end? An artist is one of the lowest ranked non-essential professions. Some people might even say it’s just a make-believe job, a sign of ego centrism, or that it’s “just a hobby”. As an artist, I know this is not true. History wouldn’t look like history without artists. Science without artists would be hard to grasp. Cities without artists would be dull. Without artists, people’s imagination would dry out and there would be no social or cultural progress. Life would be awfully boring. No movies, no images, no museums, no aesthetics, no fashion – no dreams or visions.
And here is where my life-changing discoveries come in – alongside the dreams and the visions. I AM an artist – but that’s not all I want to be. I am so much more – and there is so much more I wish to become, within this lifetime. I don’t want to make art just so I can pay my bills! Hell, no – I want to use my art to achieve something far more substantial. I want to create art with a purpose. I want to be an artist with a mission!
I will try to make a video about this tomorrow, so I can explain more. ❤️
Photo: me in front of a Cindy Sherman (Stockholm, 2010).