In between two worlds

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My new life started only a couple of months ago, and it’s like I am back in the world where I belong. I’m making digital art, I’m painting, sketching on new ideas every week, blogging and my self esteem is better than in a very long time. I am happy and I feel like I’m slowly unleashing. It’s like I haven’t been gone from the art world at all – but at the same time – it’s been five years, I have been gone for a long and it’s all a bit overwhelming at times. I get super exhausted after the painting sessions and I feel like I have to slow down and not get sucked into the art world right away because I will just burn myself out again. I need to find a “real” job so I can relax and not worry about using my art as a way to get money, I just want to express myself – the business side has to come later. I have been waiting for this moment for five years, where I’m creating from a place of expression and joy, and not because I have bills to pay. I envy the artists that are good business people, money just freaks me out. It takes away the original drive to paint and create and twist it into a responsibility and something serious and too real.

I need to find the balance between the real world of bills, responsibility, problems and solutions and the world of my imagination and creativity where magic rules and a sense of being illuminated because I am born with a purpose to give birth to raw expressions and visual stories.

To only live in the real world makes me depressed and to only live in my self-created world is just an escape from the real world. I need to build a world in between the two worlds where dreams and reality can co exist in harmony.

This is the beginning of a new journey…

2 thoughts on “In between two worlds

  1. stevie says:

    i did not realise how much you where burned out from the last time and your right you need to find the right balance in your life i think sometimes we fans forget as we get carried away with your art your only human and you will get exhausted and you have your public and private fears in live so I’m starting a new project its called mia to pick her up when she is down to make her laugh when she wants to cry to make her feel like she has been noticed and be honest and to disappear if she has had enough of me Stevie

    Like

  2. miamakila79 says:

    Dear Stevie, what a sweet comment, thank you. I feel very moved by the fact that I have such generous and kind fans that would even offer their time or attention to me and my little existence…

    Yes I was very much burned out…I had PTSD from my marriage but I didn’t know it at the time…and I had a big breakthrough in my career after only a year as an active artist, I wasn’t mature enough to handle it and I let it control me instead of being in control… And…during these years I was also struggling with a person very close to me that I had loved almost all my life, that now started to hate me because I was getting successful and happy. I have ALWAYS been punished by other people for who I am…

    Like

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