My new life started only a couple of months ago, and it’s like I am back in the world where I belong. I’m making digital art, I’m painting, sketching on new ideas every week, blogging and my self esteem is better than in a very long time. I am happy and I feel like I’m slowly unleashing. It’s like I haven’t been gone from the art world at all – but at the same time – it’s been five years, I have been gone for a long and it’s all a bit overwhelming at times. I get super exhausted after the painting sessions and I feel like I have to slow down and not get sucked into the art world right away because I will just burn myself out again. I need to find a “real” job so I can relax and not worry about using my art as a way to get money, I just want to express myself – the business side has to come later. I have been waiting for this moment for five years, where I’m creating from a place of expression and joy, and not because I have bills to pay. I envy the artists that are good business people, money just freaks me out. It takes away the original drive to paint and create and twist it into a responsibility and something serious and too real.
I need to find the balance between the real world of bills, responsibility, problems and solutions and the world of my imagination and creativity where magic rules and a sense of being illuminated because I am born with a purpose to give birth to raw expressions and visual stories.
To only live in the real world makes me depressed and to only live in my self-created world is just an escape from the real world. I need to build a world in between the two worlds where dreams and reality can co exist in harmony.
This is the beginning of a new journey…