I was talking to a gallery owner yesterday and as we were deep into a conversation about my art he said something that I’ve been told all my life: “I guess you are a little crazy, like all artists are in some way!”
I always laugh and say “Of course I am crazy!” But I never really understand what they are referring to because to me “crazy” is to be out of control and irresponsible, and I can’t relate to that at all.
In fact, I feel like I’m ‘uncrazy’ and free of what society is trying to force upon me – norms, narrow minded ideas of how I am supposed to live my life: “eat-sleep-work-consume”, celebrating holidays and traditions, believing in mainstream values and ideals and not questioning things, but just going along with whatever everyone else feels comfortable with.
I can’t do that. My soul is too free in spirit, my heart is too alive and my mind is too curious about life beyond the hamster wheel of everyday life.
And I’m not scared to explore darker human themes in my art, such as fear, anxiety, rage and sexuality.
But I guess it’s easy for people to label people like me as a little ” crazy” because it’s easier to put a distance to a free spirit than to make an effort to be one. Because it’s really hard work to stay free and it takes a lot of dedication and effort.
It’s easier to just let go of any resistance and fall into the pre-made ideas if how a life should look and feel like. What kind of sex you should feel OK with, what kind of music you are supposed to consume, what kind of opinions you are supposed to have, taste in clothes, routines in your everyday life, where you are supposed to travel to feel like you are still alive and curious, emotions that are OK to show and emotions that you have to suppress.
I can’t do that. I tried to live like that in many of my old relationships but I always ended up feeling like a guest in my own life and Iost my sense of identify.
I am OK with being labeled as “crazy” because with it comes a freedom of being true to who I am, even if I’m included in a group of human beings who act and think in ways I can’t relate to like mentally insane people, society oucasts, killers and criminals. Perhaps people mistake the word “crazy” for “free spirit”in this context. Because there is nothing sick or criminal with staying true to who you really are.
It is so liberating.
4 thoughts on “Crazy in the best of ways”
I’ve seen the…. crazy…. expression used for many different people from Van Gogh to Annie Lennox to Kate Bush,David Bowie but i see these people as free spirits who are not afraid to express themselves ……some people are just cut from a different cloth to the rest of us they are more colourful and outgoing they go into the darkness of the abyss of our minds while we stay in the light because of our fears.. so..crazy to some but for me free spirits,adventurists,explorers,is more the word to use… so you can go with your head buried with in the mediocre of life or you can go looking for these shining stars in the darkness …… i do and the latest one was MIA MAKILA a beautiful little star who just wants too share her light Stevie
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thank you Stevie 🙂 and yes, I do want to share my light. I always wanted to do that. I am not an artist to prove that I am good at something or to be famous, but to share my light and inspire people to express themselves. You know I was a HUGE Madonna fan as a child and teenager and I think some of her “express yourself so you can respect yourself hey hey hey hey” rubbed off on me 🙂
Well, that is the crux of the problem . . . people who do not conform to societal expectations are labeled “crazy” or anti-social or malcontents. Mia, apparently it is difficult for you to understand but the vast majority of people out there are nothing but boring slobs . . . accepting and never questioning their station in life. In fact, most people are incapable of such thought. Is this a learned behavior? I don’t know, but I do know that, at least here in the US, conformity and acquiescence to authority is drilled into your head from a young age. So, anyone who bucks these notions is crazy. Maybe not batsh!t crazy like those who are “out of control”, but still a degree of crazy for most people. I say own it. http://www.videoscache.com/prince-and-the-revolution-lets-go-crazy-video-lyrics/817/
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haha you always say that! That I don’t understand that most people are boring slobs! but I think it has to do with the fact that they CHOOSE to be boring slobs. We ALL have the strength and the capability to do something with ourselves and our lives, especially in the western world. There are no other excuses than laziness.
For some reason, most people are scared to death of responsibility – and I am talking about the responsibility for ones own happiness.