This whole day has been wrapped in a suffocating darkness. More terror attacks in Europe, this time in Brussels again. I’m working so hard to make my own little world feel safe and protected – but outside myself the world is slowly falling apart, at least the world as I once knew it. Hate is leaking out of it. Fear too. There’s an absence of love. Empathy. And humanity.
I spent the day studying art and learning about different painting techniques when it comes to do black on black. I want to make the black background of my painting come alive with textures and many nuances of black. I will go back to painting later tonight. But I can’t shake the feeling of terror off.
I am making artworks based on horror. Fear, rage and helplessness are such a big part of my work. Now it feels even more important for me to deal with it through my creativity – and to share it with other people through my art. I’m trying to make something beautiful out of the dark matter of humanity – I refuse to let it stay black on black without finding some nuances of light inside it – without seeing some texture of hope and comfort. That’s what I’m looking for when I’m studying painting techniques today. Or perhaps that’s what I’m looking for in the broken world outside the walls of my studio.