10 minutes


Life is really kind to me right now.  Doors are beginning to open up for me and I am finding new opportunities, possibilities and a chance to grow all the time. It looks like I’m getting an internship at a local gallery – what a dream! I know this opportunity will give me a lot of new knowledge and experience and it’s just the perfect workplace for me at this point. I feel really connected to the concept of the gallery and its purpose. I’m so excited!

And my painting “The Core” will be finished soon. I can’t wait to share it with you. I am already planning my next painting. And the next. And the next…

In 10 minutes, Johnny will call me from California. I wish my phone could swallow me whole and transport me and my body all the way to the States, because I miss him so much. I want to smell his face. Be forehead to forehead and feel our thoughts blending in an invisible stream of sensual energy and love. Some days are cruel. The days when the missing turns into a disease. Other days, like today, I just feel so happy to know that there is a home for me out there. I used to feel homeless for such a long time. Possibly all my life. Even though I’ve always had a home, an actual apartment or a house and people around me who claim they love me. But I’ve been so lonely. There is no other emotional torture worse than feeling lonely in a relationship. To have someone but not having any access to them. To be spooned at night, but feeling like you are replaceable. To share a romantic dinner with someone who never looks into your eyes. To feel like a guest in your own house. To long for silence and solitude instead of togetherness and company. So I am very grateful for what I share with Johnny, even if he’s half a world away. I’d rather share a geographical distance with someone than an emotional one.

5 minutes now…

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