It’s an incredible love. This is the first time I feel like I am safe enough to be honest about who I am in everything – and knowing I won’t ever be judged for it. Sometimes you need to set someone free in order for them to be able to breathe but still be deeply connected. That’s when trust is your guiding light.
My new life is my favorite work in progress. I’m experimenting with the elements of it to see where everything is meant to go. If it doesn’t fit, I will find a better place for it. I’m exploring my boundaries and the shapes and forms of my freedom and independence. I’ve never been able to do this before. Johnny is the most generous soul I’ve ever met and he’s letting me be me – all the way, even though I have my own philosophy about so many things that could easily scare him off. I’m not like other people so I need to find my own lifestyle that feels authentic and true to who I am. This is where I’ve done a lot of damaging compromises in my past – and let men castrate me in order to fit their view of who I should be instead of who I am. I’ve let them tame my inner wilderness until every ounce of me has dozed off and then I’m just there to serve their needs.
This is my time. The age of Mia. And I’m creating it in real time, letting things unfold without trying to control it and just improvising instead of planning. All I know is that I feel like I’m slowly getting everything I’ve ever wished for. And for the first time, I’m not scared of losing it – because I have trust. I trust Johnny. Myself. I have trust in people. And in life itself. What more do I need to be able to express every side of myself that has been quiet and chained for so long?