This morning it’s just me and Mozart. My hair is still wet from the shower. The room is filled with the silvery light from my window. I feel really happy. With all these changes in my apartment, I feel like a new time is here. I’m still living my life according to a life plan that I’ve created for myself. On the current step in my plan it says “enjoy life – feel pleasure in everything you do.” And that is exactly what I’m doing. I have moved so far away from my past that I almost don’t think about it at all now. But I still have nightmares when I sleep. Soon, Johnny will come here and I’ll have his arms around me all night, I’m sure that will chase the nightmares away.
I’ve been very focused on my internship at the gallery and the changes in my apartment, but as soon as I feel like I’ve refilled my energy, I will focus on my art again. I’m still very sensitive in my energy – I get drained easily, so I have to go slow. My life and my art haven’t find a harmony together yet. To have been burned out is so much about finding a balance of that ambitious focus and relaxation. Too much of either the one or the other, and it all turns into a mess. Both life and the creativity. So I have to be careful. At least now, I have the perfect setting for this kind of harmony. I’m ready for whatever life has to offer me now. I feel ready.