I feel a bit exhausted but there’s something liberating about the feeling, like I’ve found the limit to my own anxiousness and fear. A wall that guides me away from destruction. In this exhaustion I find peace, I am simply too tired to overthink things or worry so much. I’m highly intolerant to uncertainties and right now there’s nothing but uncertainty around me. It is a good opportunity for me to practice faith and hope – and the belief that everything will be alright in the end (and get rid of my mental preparation for disasters and catastrophes – hence the George Costanza reference in yesterday’s post).
I’m tired or reading about different types of abuse, about victimisation and survival strategies, I need to take a break in my self-therapy work. I need to laugh more, embrace the love I have in my life, nurture friendships and focus on good things. But I won’t judge myself for doing this heavy work of self-empowerment and the process of acceptance when it comes to myself and my painful past, it’s very important to me and it needs to be done. But now, I need a break from all of it.
I want to read more books, watch more TedTalks, call my friends, paint and take long walks. After all, these are the first days of autumn, and I wouldn’t want to miss out on welcoming it back.