I woke up from the first good sleep in a really long time. It’s raining. Meditation is really helpful, I’m visiting this place, deep inside myself where I find keys to feeling better. It’s like I’m a different person now than I was before all the things happened this summer. When I look back at these last few months, I can see what made me change and transform so quickly. It’s fascinating. I had a few encounters with closure. And I finally reconnected with my own body after years of dissociating myself from it. It might sound simple and trivial but it’s really not. I just wish things like that wouldn’t be so painful. But as my friend Jenny says, it’s through pain that we know what’s important to us, it’s through suffering we understand what’s worth fighting for – perhaps that’s exactly what happens between a mother and child during the painful labor in childbirth. Survival doesn’t look pretty. Struggles hardly come without suffering. And in the end, it was all worth it. Because it brought me here – one step closer to where I am destined to go.