Thoughts through the fog

It’s a foggy morning and I’m feeling foggy too. I always start to contemplate and evaluate the year around this time. What a strange year it’s been. So many beloved celebrities died, both international and Swedish, a demagogue was elected as the next President of the United States, the words I’ve seen most used in Swedish newspapers this year are ‘rape’ and ‘sexual assault’, I got really sick, had closure on something I never thought I could let go of, I finally accepted Johnny’s love and I killed my inner Lolita once and for all.

I made many mistakes this year, awful mistakes – but I achieved many amazing goals too, small ones perhaps but all of them leading me forward. Even the mistakes pushed me forward because I choose to view them as experience and something I’ve learned a great deal from. This new way of thinking will eventually cure my fear of failure – and as I am growing stronger within myself, I will also overcome my fear of success.

Every year, I create a plan for the following year, I will soon make one for 2017. The goals for this year was:

  • Improve self-esteem and find more inner strength
  • Work on a new collection of artworks
  • Read more books
  • Take care of my health
  • Practice self-discipline and be focused
  • Elaborate my new ‘thinking style’ and explore my intellect

Well, I can check off most on this list – but I’ve only read one book so far, but the year is not over yet.

This was also the year where I reconnected with my body – through the painful experience of the infected tooth – so even my dental hell turned out positive. Perhaps this year wasn’t so bad after all.

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