Notes from my notebook

“Nobody can make you feel or be anything for you. You create your own thoughts, feelings and moods. Nobody can crawl into your head and change your state of mind or the way you are feeling at the moment. You are responsible for what you allow to affect you and for putting a value to other people’s words – low or high, according to how much they mean to you. Who is your audience – your critics who don’t know you or the people who know and appreciate you?


Stockholm, 2012

My state of mind is my own responsibility – but I am not responsible for how other people might judge me or think of me. I just have to let it go. I am not on a mission to control how other people feel about me. They can love me or hate me but I choose to surround myself with people who make me feel good. I only listen to people who appreciate what I do or who I am – if they have criticism I know it’s because they want to make me grow, not to humiliate me. I don’t know how I could allow anyone to punish me for my weaknesses or for my strength – it is not who I am anymore.

I have integrity – therefore I don’t let other people’s opinions affect me.
I practice self-compassion – I am kind to myself and won’t put myself in any harm’s way.
I am aware of my thoughts and feelings – I  become what I think and feel; if I think bad thoughts about myself I will feel bad and act accordingly.
I am an equal to all people – until they prove me wrong. If I feel submissive to anyone who doesn’t deserve to put me in that position, I will leave the relationship or the situation.
I am healing – therefore I have to be patient and accept that things will take time. Nobody has the right to judge my process of healing or put a label of what’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ when it comes to how I choose to approach this process.
I have boundaries – and it’s my responsibility for making them clear to other people but it’s not my responsibility if they choose not to accept them. If people don’t want or can’t respect my boundaries then I have to leave.
I am open to change – I understand that the same behavior will create the same results and that I can change anything I don’t like about my own behavior. It is never too late to change. But I can’t change other people and I have to accept that.”

– Mia Makila

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