I’ve kept myself busy this week and I am finding more and more energy as I am working hard to sync myself to the heartbeats of life itself. I’m full of hope and optimism. But there are moments when I stop just to have that little piece of doubt; “what’s wrong, why am I feeling so happy?” so I asked my job coach: “do you think I am bipolar because I used to be so sad and anxious all the time and now I just feel happy and excited?” She laughed and said: “no, Mia, this is YOU, without the heavy weight you’ve been carrying for so long. This is who you always were and you’ve worked damn hard to get here so don’t you doubt any of it.”
I guess I’m just not used to this smooth flow of happiness. Before it was more of a rollercoaster ride. I’m sure it will always be a bumpy ride for me because I have a passionate and sensitive disposition, but I am not manic or bipolar and the ride won’t take me too deep when I’ll be falling again. Because I will – we all do at times.
I have much to be happy about. Johnny and I are sharing our lives and love together even though we are apart (who said I’m not good at patience?), I am painting, making digital art, I’m dancing around my apartment like I used to do a long time ago, I am working on the website and I’m proud of the work I’m doing – and today I’ll go on a little trip to see a dear friend.
I don’t take life for granted anymore – I don’t take happiness for granted, so I am feeling so much gratitude and appreciation right now.