@miamakila
Tag: digital art
My natural state
I am finally back to making art again. It’s been 5 months since I finished the last piece in PhotoShop (The Blue Connection). Being creative is my natural state, so I am starting to feel like myself again. I can see that my style has changed a bit since the last 2 pieces. It has shifted from a darker expression to a more delicate and dreamy style. My collage technique has always been driven by a freudian selection of images – but I work on a much deeper level now. My new collection of works will be my most personal one yet. Like visual diary notes. Who needs therapy when you have a talent to dig into yourself and bring it out as an emotional confession through a clear visual expression?
About my new collection “No Place Like Home”
“The Blue Connection” by Mia Makila, 2017 [digital]
It is early morning and I am thinking about my new collection No Place Like Home and how it was supposed to be a love story. I have been working on the collection for almost 4 years now. From the time I met Johnny until now when we are broken up – you can follow our love and connection by studying my work. A house adrift. Two houses making a connection. Creating a root system. Sparks. Fire. Then – a separation. A disconnection within the root system. And now what? Am I supposed to end the collection about “finding a home” – on a bad note (with The Blue Connection)? Perhaps I have to continue working on it until something comes along that will create a ‘happy ending’? What if I have to wait for years to find my happy ending?
I will continue working on this collection to see where it’ll take me.
The language
Since I started to scan my own handwriting for my digital works, I have been inspired by the idea of incorporating words, letters and written messages into my paintings as well.
My trauma is so much about language. Words. The lack of them. Repetition. The tone of them. The temperature. Linguistic warfare.
I have always been attracted to words in paintings. Basquiat used it a lot in his paintings. David Lynch as well. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why I am so into early renaissance art – there are a lot of writings in them. I also have a soft spot in my heart for Mexican ex voto paintings (prayer paintings).
Fra Angelico
Mexican ex voto
David Lynch
Since I was a little girl, I’ve loved to write and make up stories. I got A+ on most my Swedish assignments in school. Writing has always played a big role in the way I express myself. But in my traumas there has been this underlying threat that I am not allowed to express myself through my writing. Especially not about the traumas. Using words in my art is a way for me to rebel against this threat – and a way to break free from the invisible chains I’ve been forced to carry for the last two decades. It is my statement of independence and a way of reclaiming my artistic freedom.
“There Are No Memories Of My Crying Bed” by Mia Makila, 2017 [digital]
Moving forward
Today in my studio, working on “The Remains Of Lolita”
I am completely into the flow of my creativity and I am working on 10 digital pieces and paintings at the same time. But I am not stressed, I feel better than I have in a very long time. So many problems have been solved. I am free from distractions and fears at the moment. It’s just me and my creativity – and Johnny for one hour a day during the weekdays when he’s at lunch. It’s all I need to keep moving forward.
A world that is like an open wound
With my friend and horror artist Mats Tusenfot yesterday
I had a wonderful afternoon with my friend Mats Tusenfot yesterday. I really needed to get out of my apartment – and out of my head for a while. Being two digital horror artists we share so many places inside our minds. Places where a differerat kind of philosophy rules. Where the authentic self is never abandoned. Or overlooked. Not afraid of the dark. Not ashamed of strong emotions. Not interested in what money can buy. Not willing to compromise the artistic expression. It is comforting to meet another otherling who understands the pain, confusion, awe, fear and passion of being different in a world that is like an open wound.
“Bianca” 2012
I have done some changes to my 2012 work “Bianca”:
“Bianca” by Mia Makila, 2012 [digital]
“No Place Like Home”
Here is the second collaboration piece by me and Candice Angelini.
“No Place Like Home” art collaboration by Mia Makila and Candice Angelini, 2017
“Dead Lolitas”
“Dead Lolitas” by Mia Makila, 2017 [digital]. Click to enlarge
An experimental phase
I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve wasted so much time – and that time is so very precious. I am waking up from a million mistakes and I can’t afford to waste more time on the wrong things. It stresses me but also motivates me and keeps me inspired me at the same time. I have so much I want to do. I have so much to give. So many things I want to prove to myself.
work in progress
When it comes to my digital work, I am in an experimental phase and I’m having so much fun! I love it. Most of the times I don’t know what I am doing, but I am trying new things and that’s how I learn. Being self-taught is all about trial and error. I welcome mistakes and ugly drafts, which I eventually abandon. They are all important steps of practice and refining my technique.
“My Superpower”
!["My Superpower" by Mia Makila, 2017 [digital]](https://miamakila.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/my_superpower.jpg)
“My Superpower” by Mia Makila, 2017 [digital]
I revisited this old draft of something I never finished last year. I guess I’m not feeling as gloomy anymore. So this turned into “My Superpower”:
“There Are No Memories Of My Crying Bed” by Mia Makila, 2017 [digital]
“There Are No Memories Of My Crying Bed” by Mia Makila, 2017 [digital]
“Homecoming” by Mia Makila
new digital work:
Homecoming by Mia Makila, 2016. Digital collage. Click to enlarge!
detail study:
“The Strange Girl” by Mia Makila, 2007 [digital]
!["The Strange Girl" by Mia Makila, 2007 [digital]](https://miamakila.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/thestrangegirl_2.jpg)
“The Strange Girl” by Mia Makila, 2007 [digital]
“Fleurs De Finge” by Mia Makila, 2016 [digital]
!["Fleurs De Finge" by Mia Makila, 2016 [digital]](https://miamakila.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/fleurs_de_fringe.jpg)
“Fleurs De Finge” by Mia Makila, 2016 [digital]
OK, so I’m finally done with “Fleurs De Fringe” – my tribute to one of my favorite sci-fi TV series; “Fringe” and the flowers which are of significance in the show – the white tulip, the mutated daisy and the humble little dandelion. I know this is totally nerdy and all, but it gave me an opportunity to practice my technique in digital collage and practice makes perfect.
Now, on to the next project…
Various degrees of intimacy
Some week ago, I wrote about how I’ll study my creativity as a scientist to see if I use it as rest or play (work), but I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not about that. I use my creativity as both rest and play and it’s relaxing, fun and hard work at the same time. What I’ve discovered is how I use the different techniques and media to express myself – I am always driven by my core and what it has to say and therefore my creativity is a very intimate force. The digital expressions, writing, digital art, poetry are all based on my innermost feelings and thoughts but I am more flexible here. I can weave my personal stories into a more general expression, something that concerns other people. But with my analogue art – such as painting, mixed media, drawings etc, I feel more protective of the pieces. They don’t concern other people, only me. My analogue art is my most intimate expression, perhaps that’s why it’s so linked to my sexual energy.
“Out of Reach” by Mia Makila, 2016
“The Core” by Mia Makila, 2016, acrylic on canvas, 81 x 100 cm
Baby Blue
The Remains I & II
My digital art, painting, drawing and mixed media.
“There’s clearly a connection between your creativity and your sexuality – what is it?”, my therapist once asked me. I didn’t understand it at the time. I answered; “Perhaps it’s where I am most traumatized?”, but that isn’t it. During the 7 years where I was creatively blocked, I had a recurring nightmare about pooping in public. “The excrement is your flow, it’s a wishful dream.” She said when I told her about it. And I get it now. The flow of something very intimate that I release in the public arena. It’s coming from me – it’s produced inside me and it’s a mix of old things that my mind, heart and soul have digested and turned into something else. Something new, that want’s to be released. I make something beautiful out of the crap that happened to me in my past. My paintings and drawings are as close as you can get to my core, without knowing anything about me.
“Sex Monster”, 2013
“A horny she-devil”, 2010
I used to feel forced to produce paintings and mixed media pieces for art shows and collectors and that’s when I got all burned out and stopped working. I got blocked, lost my momentum, my self confidence and my ambition to work as an artist. No wonder, that’s not how I’m supposed to treat my analogue art. It is far too precious and magical to me to be used as a cash cow. It’s like selling your soul. I can never go back to working like that again. I have to find a new approach to my art as something I can make money on.
Pictures from my art show “My Pink Hell” in Copenhagen, 2009:
The stories behind my art: “Meltdown”
‘Meltdown’ by Mia Makila, 2012 [digital]
An early draft:
work in progress – ‘The Meltdown’
Detail studies:
My diary, March 7, 2012:
“Wow. At last I’m in the glorious flow of creativity again. It’s been years since I’ve felt this way. I’m working all the time – yesterday I sat 11 hours straight in front of PhotoShop. There are no words for what I’m feeling right now. I’m in love with all that life entails. Even the pain that comes with it. I feel all tingly inside. Horny too – as I always feel when I am in this flow.
But next week I start my trauma treatment at the Crisis and Trauma Center at Danderyd’s hospital. Hope my creativity flow will continue even during this new time of therapy. Maybe I can even use what I am experiencing in my PTSD treatment in my new art. I hope so.
My new art is the most honest I’ve created so far. It exposes who I really, really am. Somewhere between light and darkness – and where the light dominates the dark.
I don’t know where my art will bring me right now, but I don’t mind not knowing. I follow all the impulses of my excitement.”
Work in progress: “Fleurs de Fringe” – about the dandelion in Fringe
My digital piece “Fleurs de Fringe” in progress, adding a dandelion today – why?
Here’s why (1:37):
The flower of hope. A flower that can survive the darkest of times, that can find its way through concrete and asphalt to blossom and thrive. Today, I feel like a dandelion. I am so fragile but I am still here, looking for a way through the dark and hard surface of life. I want to grow. To feel beautiful and strong. And to live and not just survive the hardest of times.
“The Fourth Eye”
!["The Fourth Eye" by Mia Makila, 2015 [digital]](https://miamakila.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/the_fourth_eye.jpg)
“The Fourth Eye” by Mia Makila, 2015 [digital]
It’s the year of the fool
no sun is laughing
in the hotel of traveling lies.I’m breastfeeding the beast within
screamingwhile you cum inside another watermelon.
MM – 15
“I am proud that you yelled at me when you are angry. I am happy when you say no when I ask if I can pee in your mouth. I love when you ask me to finger fuck a watermelon because they are expressions of your true voice and that is Mia.”
– what someone wrote to me in 2015 and it inspired the poem above that inspired the digital piece.
And also this:
His Wet Dream (acrylic on wooden panel)
There’s a story waiting to be told
From one of the computer folders of my digital artworks
I’m feeling excited about building this new art show. This is the first phase of creating a collection of digital works and I will make a million changes in the selection and add more to it as I’m creating new ones. I will also incorporate other expressions – paintings, poetry etc. It will be an art show dedicated to my spiritual (and artistic) metamorphosis.
Digital works being born in my printer’s office at ProImages in Stockholm, 2013
As I am going through all the digital pieces on my computer (so many of them are yet to be printed for the first time) I can see a story unfolding in them. I’ve been working with PhotoShop as an artistic media since 2007 and I’ve reinvented myself many times since then – but ironically I started out making black and white pieces and now I am back to the monochrome palette again.
Early digital works:
“THEY” BY MIA MAKILA – 2007 (DIGITAL) Edition of 5, 36 x 44,5 cm, PRICE: 4000 SEK
!["The Gathering" by Mia Makila, 2007 [digital]](https://i0.wp.com/miamakila.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/the_gathering.jpg?w=243&h=242&ssl=1 "the_gathering")
“The Gathering” by Mia Makila, 2007 [digital]
!["The Strange Girl" by Mia Makila, 2007 [digital]](https://i0.wp.com/miamakila.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/thestrangegirldark.jpg?w=243&h=203&ssl=1 "thestrangegirldark")
“The Strange Girl” by Mia Makila, 2007 [digital]
“The Hitchockian Girl” by Mia Makila, 2007
“Bird Lady” by Mia Makila, 2007
I will try to find a way to tell this story right. To do the important and beautiful processes of spiritual awakening and the metamorphosis justice. It will be a very personal collection of works – and the story will work as closure for me to that particular chapter of my life.
“Planet Me” by Mia Makila, 2013 [digital collage]
“Planet Me” by Mia Makila, 2013 [digital collage] – click to enlarge
A quest to find a new place in the art world
Exciting inner creative processes are in motion. I know what I want to accomplish next in my art career – with a future art show and it’s gonna be different from anything I’ve done before. Less shocking perhaps but more personal and poetic. It is so god damn hard to let go of my old career because it was everything I had ever dreamed about, but at the same time I couldn’t take the pressure that came with it – and it was killing my creativity. And when you think about it, it’s not a difficult choice; to choose creativity over past achievements. It’s not about looking backwards anyway – and what really kills creativity is any form of comparison, even if the comparison is to your own past achievements.
My art in the “UPSET” art book of contemporary lowbrow artists, 2010
I need a clean slate, a fresh start and a new place in the art world. I’m letting go of my old artistic position as part of a movement or style – I am my own genre and I am flexible in both expression and style. It was very tempting and very flattering to be part of the lowbrow art movement and the pop-surrealist community, because I’ve never felt at home anywhere, socially. It was like I found my people, but at the same time it was holding me back and I started to adjust my style and the motifs to fit the movement or the group shows. I won’t do that again. I’m ok with being an outsider or at least not part of any group. The struggle will be harder when I walk alone but without compromising my artistic integrity and my genuine expression.
Although I am very proud to be one of the pioneers of the digital art movement – what I like to call “the digi wave”. I have many friends and colleagues surfing the digi wave in the art world. Their digital techniques and expressions vary a lot. Here are some of them;
Sonya Fu
Aeron Alfrey
Casajordi Bousquet
Alexander Jansson
A language spoken not stolen
For the people who are questioning the authenticity of digital art and would say “What about the ‘stolen’ images you collect from books and use in your digital collages?” I want to answer: “I paint with pictures. The images are my colors. Poets don’t invent the alphabet nor the language when they are writing their poetry.” – Mia Makila
!["Still Life With Flowers and Love" by Mia Makila, 2016 [digital collage]](https://miamakila.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/still_life_with_flowers_and_love.jpg)
“Still Life With Flowers and Love” by Mia Makila, 2016 [digital collage]
“Out of Reach” by Mia Makila, 2016 [digital]
“Out of Reach” by Mia Makila, 2016 [digital]
“The Little Man” by Mia Makila [digital]
“The Little Man” by Mia Makila [digital], edition of 5
Detail study:
I dedicate this work to all the narcissists, to all the rapists out there, to men who use violence, macho crap, mind games, abuse women and children, to men who think they are more valuable than other people.
MIA MAKILA 