I’ve been letting go of my past and the pain for many years now but it’s only recently that I’ve been able to live without the struggle or the step-by-step mental and emotional recovery. That is what it’s like to let go – to really let go: you just throw yourself out there, take a leap of faith, you keep on falling and hope for the best. It is the scariest thing I’ve ever done but it’s also the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Life has become easy to live, I can finally breathe again without choking on the fear. The best thing about letting go, is the freedom and time released, time I used to spend on worrying, over thinking things, being tense and feeling anxious. Now I have all this time to spend on designing a new life for myself. A life I want and need to feel free and happy. And I feel so grateful. I’ve had some shitty years and the last couple of years have been a slow and painful turning point – but at the same time, I’ve never felt stronger or more alive. To lose everything made me find new things, things that I never knew I needed in order to feel happy. So I feel grateful that I was brave enough to leave everything I’ve ever known behind and to let go of the past. I feel like I’ve seen the rotten heart of life, now I want to explore the radiant core of it.
There are some days where I feel so overwhelmed by it all. In a good way. I have so much love in my life – real and solid love, I am free to do whatever I want with my life, and I have my health. I just feel so grateful. Life is magical, and I will add more magic to it with my new art.