Through the broken pieces of my old life, I can see how I was originally supposed to live it, before all the darkness invaded it.. And I lost my ability to distinguish the natural from the unnatural frequency of life. I couldn’t feel the stillness. Only when it was snowing. I couldn’t taste the peace. Only by using distractions. In a blog post from a month or so ago, I said that I want to rediscover the pulse of life. Now I am hungry for it. Both the low and the high. I want to know how real stillness feels like. I want to know the rush of a busy day again. But without the stress. I’ve been in this vacuum for way too long.
It is sad when something breaks but through the shattered reality there is a promising freshness. It’s still too soon to know what it will bring to my life or how it will change me, but I don’t need to know right now. I just have to keep moving forward. It is all I can do.