The invasion

It’s early morning and I am soon about to meet up with a new psychologist specialized in dentist fear so that I can continue to go to the dentist. My fear is not so much about the dentist but about being ‘physically invaded’ in my mouth and feeling gagged. It is connected to my sexual trauma and I am sure this fear will find its way into my art as well. This is the reason why I can’t wear something tight around my neck, swallow pills and the reason why I am scared of suffocation. I hate that my traumas still have such a direct impact on my every day life like that. But at least I am working myself through it.

3 thoughts on “The invasion

  1. oiseauxwords says:

    Wow. I never made the connection personally about why I have a fear of being suffocated and swallowing pills until right now when you said the associated sexual trauma. Fuck.


    • MIA MAKILA says:

      It could be that or that you just have a tight throat. It could also be connected to the routine of being spoon-fed as a baby when your parents force you to eat when you don’t want to. There are many possible explanations both physical and psychological.


      • oiseauxwords says:

        That makes sense too. But this has only been a phobia post one particular event. So I have a hard time believing it just laid stagnant till after that exact time.


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