The extraordinary

dsc02676

2011, Stockholm

The meditation has taken me to places I never thought I would experience -and I’ve only just begun exploring it. The sadness is leaving me. Perhaps I’ll always carry a sadness inside, but I feel like so much of it is fading. Finding closure has brought me to a new phase of acceptance and the meditation brings me peace. I am healing. In fact, I am overcoming the process of overcoming a trauma. I am moving past the darkness. I am slowly coming out in the light. Which is ironic, because the days are getting shorter and it get s darker and darker every day here in Sweden. Today I walked in the first snow of the year. But it’s not cold in my heart. On the contrary,  I feel so filled with love and warm light. Perhaps the days of my emotional purgatory is finally over. I have accepted, released, and found closure – it was all I had to do to start breathing again. It was so hard to do – but now it feels like everything comes easy, like I was stuck and now I am liberated from it and I’m just going with the flow of life.

elephant

I’ve had a couple of extraordinary experiences through meditation lately, but I am keeping them private. What’s important is that I am now free to focus on other things instead of dwelling, worrying, obsessing and feeling scared and anxious. It’s all over now. Everything will be OK, I have cleaned out every nook and cranny in my mind, soul and heart. I no longer carry anger, bitterness or fear in there. I know what I need to do to get to the nest phase of healing, and I have so much to look forward to. This is all kind of surreal, considering how close I was to a new depression just a few months back, it is magical if you know how many years I’ve spent crying. I don’t have anything to cry over anymore. I have problems just like anyone else, but I’m no longer weighed down by my past. I never thought this day would come.

But it did come – and it’s an extraordinary feeling. To be free that way. Free of the heavy weight of a trauma or two.

Write a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s