I’ve made a plan how to achieve my artistic goals. I’ve reconnected with my creativity after the long hiatus, I’ve cleaned the palette, emotionally and mentally, I’ve killed darlings and gotten rid of old mannerisms that doesn’t fit me as an artist anymore. I am ready. Ready for so many things. I want to build a new collection of works, I want to restore my career and to do it all differently. I want to do this the right way – where I have all control and not letting gallery owners or bad self esteem control me. I don’t want to compare myself to other artists or older versions of myself where I felt successful, I want to make the art I want to make and I don’t care to judge it or listen to other people’s opinions of it. This is MY gift, MY career. I will start from scratch but use my past experiences and successes in this new process to guide me right. I have a new life, peace of mind (for the first time in my life) – my mind is not clogged with PTSD and trauma, I have a much better self-esteem now, I have a new voice that I want to use in my art and I have a clearer vision of what I want to achieve.
I will take a couple of weeks to gather strength and collect energy, before I start this new artistic journey. Before I completely commit myself to what I was born to do. I can’t wait.